Ruminating

 Ruminating...

... is a good word. I like the feel and texture of it. And, the sound. I wish I could roll my rrrrrrrrrrrrs - and, I would like it even better.

The word has possibilities. It has action. It has motivation. I can even use it in a sentence...

Today, I was ruminating. Sidebar...I just looked up the word and I see most of the definitions are not so positive. I'm pondering why this is so. I guess the person who wrote the definitions doesn't appreciate the possibilities that come about during the process. To ruminate or to ponder - to think deeply about something?

As I said, today, I was ruminating. A while back, I posted on Facebook about the surprise visit of a skink on our deck and the fresh "partial" remains of a brown snake we found half in/half out of our rock wall. I expressed my list of vile creatures I don't want sharing my space (and, yes it is my space). I also posted pictures of the skink and the snake and then kept creeping myself out by looking at the pictures - until I deleted them.  My childhood friend replied to my post..."I don't remember you being such a candy ass." What? Well, to be fair, he knew me when I was ages 7-12 and, at that time, I even had a pet snake we found in the yard. And, the time I took home, and cared for, the two classroom iguanas over the summer after 6th grade. And, when we spent hours crawdad fishing in the creek behind our homes. We spent a lot of time together and I was never afraid of much. Hence my rumination - I've been pondering his comment for a week and I don't remember being a candy ass either.

What happened to me? He's right. I have tempered my oneness with nature. And, the risk-taker in me has done its best to disappear. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a race-car driver. I loved to go fast. My very favorite spot on the roller coaster was the very front seat in the very first car. I rode with hands held over my head and loved every screaming minute of it as my heart jumped to my throat with the first thrilling dip. I loved to climb trees - the higher the better. I was never afraid of much. But, now. I've let the unknowns sway my heart to keeping it safe.

It kind of stinks! Losing the fire for facing the fear. Or, is it true? With age comes wisdom.

I don't want to be the stick in the mud, the scaredy cat, the one to be so aware of my surroundings that I am unable to walk this journey of life and to enjoy all of the beautiful things and the inquisitive wonder that comes along the way. There is so much to be missed. I want to embrace life, embrace nature (except snakes), embrace the goodness in people, embrace the things that scare me - embrace the things that dare me to be stronger. I want to embrace God with a full heart; so, I can love with a full heart that overflows to encourage others to live and to love with a full heart, too.

So, I am done with ruminating. I am reaching deep. I am looking up and I am claiming the mantra "Candy Ass NO MORE!" Honestly, someone send me a shirt.

Leaning In...

I like the phrase "leaning in".  I have learned that the really good stuff happens when I "lean in". I can see better, hear better, touch better, smell better. And, since I'm mentioning the senses, I'm sure I can probably taste better too. However, I've not really thought about that one too much.

Our dogs sure believe that the best things in life happen when they fully lean in. Charles Walter (Charlie) and Augie are masters at leaning in, They are so good at it, It's a common thing for them to find my husband or me and lay their heads on our lap, or to press their 90lb. bodies fully against ours (while we are sitting or standing), or to tuck their heads, with gentle purpose, under our elbows. They each know they will get a good scratch behind their ear, they will receive a gentle touch on their face or a full-out gratifying scratch on their behinds or their bellies, I've noticed they lean in when they are unsure, they are unsettled or they are just a little lonely. Leaning in is what they know to do. We are the safe place for them and the people that satisfy their needs. This is also, simply,  how they love.  Oh, to have the gentle heart of a Doodle!

What about me? I lean in when I am unsure, when I am unsettled and when I am a little lonely. Leaning in makes me feel comforted, makes me feel safe, makes me feel happy and secure. However, in order to lean in, I have to have trustworthy people, thoughts and behaviors that will hold me secure.

I've learned the really important thing is to lean in to the right people that will bless my life with God's truth. These people make me stronger and are strength-bearers for my heart. Be discerning. Lean in to those who LIVE love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Oh, and, people with a happy heart are also to be included (had to add that one). These steadfast people in my life continually teach me how to clothe myself in these beautiful garbs of Christ. In this way I am able to lean back against them and offer these same blessings. The give and take of LOVE.

So, I pray you are brave enough to lean in to the beautiful people, life and love that makes a difference in your life. Lean in to your "safe" places and ask for God's abundant grace to envelope you in the good stuff, You will learn that what you receive is also what you learn to give.

P.S. Ironically, at this very moment the song "Lean on Me" is playing on my Spotify station. Isn't that the absolute BEST - this blog post is God ordained. I'm always amazed at His simple grace:)